Day 2, Long Nap

Dear S:

Over the past few months I've often woken up feeling disoriented. I always feel like I've woken up in a place which feels like home, but then I realize after a few seconds that I'm not actually home and I adjust to my surroundings.

I've been back at home [i.e. my parents' house] for a week now -- this is a big deal since I'd only been back once in the past three years. I took a nap today and woke up with the same sequence of events: vaguely feeling like I'm home, and then realizing that I'm not actually home.

What's home anyway? It's both a feeling and a place, I guess. If you asked me where the place was, I'd say it was my parents' house. If you asked me what the feeling was, I'd say it was peace.

You can permanently lose your home-place if something bad happens to it. Can you permanently lose your home-feeling?

Day 1, Errands and Friends

Dear S:

Today I went out with my mother on some errands. Throughout my life, she has consistently driven way below the speed limit out of fear. I used to give her a really hard time for that. Today I realized that her age has finally caught up with her paranoia, and I couldn't fault her for her driving. She's starting to get gray hair.

Later on, I met up with four old friends from high school that I haven't hung out with for 5 years . One of them is going to nursing school, and three of them are studying computer stuff (they're in their final year of college). The one that's going to nursing school was my closest male friend for many years. He used to be extremely athletic, but apparently he got diagnosed with cancer a while back, so he can't be as active anymore. He was a great guy back then, and he's a bald great guy now.

Day 0, Day after Christmas

Sohee said she didn't want to talk to me for a few months, so I'm starting this blog in the meantime as a way to reflect on things. Christmas was not Christmas, but then again, it never was.

I miss Sohee already.